Am I ‘parenting’ right?

Growing up with strict parents is perhaps the most common experience of our childhood. We had curfews and strict deadlines. And violating those deadlines meant more deadlines, isn’t it? However, times have changed and so has the style of parenting. Parenting has been evolving and adapting to the needs and the wants of the current generation.

But what really classifies as good parenting and is there something like “bad” parenting? Parenting is an ongoing process and requires certain tweaks along the way. We agree that some of the old methods of parenting are now obsolete and require a change. Nevertheless, in the recent past, we have seen a whole new side of parenting – The anxiety, the overprotectiveness and, the constant fear.

Most parents of today get easily frenzied and immediately shift gear to their emergency mode. These parents of today are always hovering over their little ones like honey bees. We have come across parents who get agitated over their child’s absolutely normal behaviour.

If you were to draw a comparison between our times and the parenting today, we notice a striking difference. As kids, we enjoyed a carefree childhood- playing in the mud without worrying about the bacteria and the germs it held. We had our knees bruised without having to rush to a doctor for it!

There’s no form of parenting that can be classified as bad parenting. But what the parents of today need to understand is that it’s okay to let go once in awhile. They should realize that it’s okay if their child catches a common cold or he fails his tests once or twice. They should understand that it is fine if they do not meet all their child’s demands. It’s okay if the child makes mistakes. In fact, it’s better for his own growth. In the formative phase of a child’s growth, over indulgence and pampering will only hamper his overall progress. Imposing too many DO’s and DON’Ts will inhibit your child from thinking outside the box.

Dear parents of today, who are constantly worrying about their child come hell or high water, take a step back. Give your relationship with your child some room to breathe. Stop smothering your kids or mollycoddling them. Give your children the benefit of their age and believe us, all this is simply a part of growing up. Let your little ones be silly, laugh at their own mistakes and learn from them. After all, their childhood will be their most cherished memory of growing up.

– Seema Agarwal, Clinical Psychologist, iThrive.

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